How to Experience Success in that One Difficult Area
How to Experience Success in
that One Difficult Area
Start Thinking Like a Grown-Up
Are there certain areas of life where you just feel stuck and can’t seem to move forward? For instance…
- You are incredibly successful in your job but terrible with personal finance?
- You are known for your great business skills but can’t lose weight?
- You developed a thriving company culture but can’t seem to stay married?
- Your marriage and family are great, better than most, but your business is stuck?
Nobody’s perfect so relax, you are not alone!
Do you want to know how to experience success in that one difficult area? It is likely you are thinking as an adult in areas you experience success, but as a child in areas you experience repeated failure.
One of my students helps companies move from one level of business success to another. Years ago this highly sought after business coach – was coaching me – after his healthy lifestyle session. He wrote on a napkin, “how people learn”… and helped me identify the gap most individuals experience in regard to developing strong personal habits. It is related to our personal maturity level in a given area.
Children think in black and white/good bad terms
An individual who is childish in their thinking about food might say, “I was bad, I ate a lot of sugar at our Christmas celebration.” Or they might say “I was good, I completely avoided dessert at Christmas dinner.”
Adolescents learn by experience and mentoring
A person who is in an adolescent in their thinking about food might say, “Wow, I ate all that unbeneficial junk food and now I feel terrible (experience), I wish I would have asked my health coach for some healthy treat recipes.” (mentoring)
Many adults have been mentored in sports, finances, business skills, however, most were not mentored in healthy food choices and healthy relationships.
Join us for a free 2-part Vision & Goals group. This class will give you great direction, regardless of your goals, whether they are personal or business.
Adults learn through knowledge developing skill by practicing what they have learned
An individual who is an adult in their thinking about food might say, “Wow, I chose to eat foods that were not beneficial to my body and now I’m paying the price. I know how to get back on track and choose to start now by doing my 24 hour cleanse” (practicing a learned skill).
Do a quick personal assessment and determine where you are thinking like an adult and where you are thinking like a child…
Most of struggle in one or more of these areas; Food, Business, Finances or Relationships. Take a few moments to decide where you are in each area and then choose one to intentionally grow this year.
- (Child) I tend to think of food as good or bad or only make decisions about food based on my momentary emotions.
- (Adolescent) I am currently working through a plan or program with a mentor to make better food choices. I need more practice but I have someone to mentor me in the process.
- (Adult) I have learned how to make decisions about foods I eat based on what is beneficial for my body and I am in the process of making better choices.
Notice there is no place for perfection here. Food has no moral value…it is not “Good” and it is not “Bad”. Food can be beneficial to your body or your health or it can be non-beneficial.
Reframing how you identify food may be your first step towards better food choices. When you think of food as “Good or Bad” there is no room for discernment – it is what it is. However, when you judge food as “Beneficial” or “Non-Beneficial” you suddenly have a choice.
- (Child) I am a bad business person, I just don’t make much money.
- (Adolescent) I have a lot to learn about business, but I keep trying. I’m so glad there are people who can give me hands-on help and encouragement.
- (Adult) I have taken some business classes and I am in the process of improving my business skills. These skills will give me measurable success.
Again, notice there is no place for perfection here. Your business success has no moral value…it is not “Good” and it is not “Bad”. Business success is accomplished by experience, mentoring, knowledge, skill and lots of practice.
Reframing how you practice your business. There are thousands of business classes, webinars, books and mentors. Every successful business person realizes they must support their weaknesses through learning skills, have a mentor and then practice, practice, practice. A good business involves investing in yourself to learn skills, time to practice and mentoring and accountability to give you confidence.
- (Child) I’m don’t have good relationships, I can’t seem to choose the right person for friendship or in marriage.
- (Adolescent) I want to learn how to be a great friend and partner. I have a mentor who has the skills and experience I need to reach this goal and experience success in relationships of all kinds.
- (Adult) I am investing in myself to learn how to be a good friend and spouse. I am practicing the skills I learned and have others in my life for mentoring and accountability.
Reframing how you operate in relationships may be your first step towards success. In the same way we “choose” foods based on our past experience and emotions, we ten to “choose” people who “look and feel” familiar. You may go out of your way to NOT choose an abuser or an addict, however, you always seem to end up with one! If you want to have positive, healthy relationships you must pursue positive, healthy thinking for yourself. Then you will recognize others with positive, healthy thinking.
- (Child) I’m will never have enough money, regardless of my income level I’m always almost broke.
- (Adolescent) I want to learn how to be a good steward of the money and possessions God has give me. I have a mentor who practices great stewardship principles and makes wise investiments.
- (Adult) I learned important skills for being a good steward of my money, possessions and time. I have a group of people who hold me accountable and continue to practice skills I’ve learned and develop new skills in this area.
Reframing the purpose of money may be your first step towards better stewardship. When you think of money as an avenue to get what you want (identity) or keep you safe (security) you will always be in danger – again the good/bad scenario.
“I was bad” – I bought a new dress I didn’t need vs “I was good” – I put all my money in savings. When you switch your thinking to a “stewardship” view of money you will find a mentor who can help you make wise purchases and know how much to save. As you develop skill and knowledge and practice what you learn you will have more money to use in meaningful ways and less personal finance worries.
Make an Assessment and Change your Mindset
How to Experience Success in that One Difficult Area
You may be dealing with some form of shame or embarrassment about now, as you honestly look at your weak areas.
- You may not want to ask for help because you think “at my age I should know these things!”
- You may not want to ask for help because you really don’t want to be accountable.
- You may not want to admit you need help because you are too proud.
Can you see how all the above thoughts are childish? Why not move away from childish thinking and Grow Up into all God has for you! What’s worse…not knowing how to do something simple or choosing to remain ignorant when given the chance to learn?
What area(s) are you thinking like a child? No judgement! No punishment! Just honesty.
Review the list of childish/adolescent and adult thinking and identify your weak area.
“I tend to look at (choose one of the areas above) ____________ area of my life as good/bad – black/white.
Whew…Congratulations! You Did It! You took the first step towards success!
Now that you’ve admitted your need … you can choose a different way
- I choose to experience some better results in this area.
- I am looking for a mentor who can point me to beneficial educational resources.
- I choose to follow my mentor’s advice.
- I choose to actively learn about this area of my life.
- I choose to develop new skills.
- I choose to be nice to myself and understand I am “In the Process” of improving this area.
- I choose find a group of people who will hold me accountable, and submit myself to their encouragement and discernment; especially when I don’t feel like it.
Now it’s time for action! What Habit do you need to create to facilitate this new way of thinking?
Ready to be mentored in healthy eating? Join our Be Nourished 4 Life Intermittent Fasting Group. More Info
The post “How to Experience Success in that One Difficult Area” by Celeste Davis, CHC, CLWC, first appeared at www.thewellnessworkshop.org/experience-success